ABYSSIC HATE - Suicidal Emotions

Depression: Part I

Far beyond the walls of all safety in a land
Disgusting as the highest of God's heavens
Starved hands keep appearing - clawing
Tearing shreds out of the flesh and mind

And as the sands crawl their unchanging path
All means seemingly focus towards the end
There is no reason to live anymore
When the reason cannot be attained

But the solace lay beyond the darkness
In a land where light and life dwell
Yet soon will come death and the numbing fires
Only then will my mind lie to rest

For I am alone on this world
Enslaved and surrounded by the living dead
Yet still I stand tall as I bleed
Deep from within the cuts upon my skin
__________

Depression: Part II

I think about life and feel pure hate about being trapped here on this Earth
Envying all deceased souls who've passed on from this ruined plane
My dormant hours are filled with fear, my waking hours I will not face
All will to life has expired I just want to fucking die!

The thought of life reviving is nothing but pure illusion
This impulse to end my life keeps on echoing through my mind

Wishing that I had the strength to extinguish the whole of mankind
I now know that this goal of mine will never, ever be attained
I hate this fucking human race for what they have all done to me
Driven to this destructive state, guided by insanity!

The thought of life reviving is simply just pure illusion
This impulse to end my life keeps on echoing through my mind

My cries for help have gone in vain
No need to endure this endless strain
My screams of pain seem devoid of sound
Comfort in death I now have found

Silently pondering... "Why do I continue on with this life?"
Silently wondering... "When I die, will anyone even notice my demise?"
__________

Despondency

My visions are all clouded I see nothing but red

This hatred has now congealed to a near climatic state
Why do I remain here to weaken through the years?
I am so confused - my soul dies all the while

I don't wish to co-exist with this feeble human race
I don't feel the need to be infected with the disease called "life"

A state of mental grief causes my mind great pain
In this emotional state I suffer from despondency

Violent and murderous thoughts
Form deep inside my mind
Dwelling in these sights to the point where I'm insane
Why do I remain alive when I only wish to die?
I am so distressed - my soul rots all the while

I'm surrounded by life-loving shapes that exist without a choice
Your fears of death are covered up by the words "suicide is weak"

Released from the grip of life's burdening chains
My body devoid of blood and unable to embrace pain

With death I'll grow in strength and might
Fading away without remorse
With death I'll leave this weakened Earth
To become at one with the night

"As dusk falls, the intense darkness of night envelops the sky,
causing the sun's demise. Again, I feel the suicidal emotions
infecting my soul, detaching me from this fragmented reality, ensuring
needless agony upon my being. Time instantly freezes, the hours
become seemingly endless. In solitude, I foresee this bleak and bare
existence. Suddenly, wounds form upon my body and crimson red
stains my flesh. Yet, the wounds are in a different place to what they
were previously. And then there comes the pain - the pain that keeps
me alive for this day. The pain that will imminently come to and end,
one day."

With death I'll grow in strength and might
Fading away without remorse
With death I'll leave this weakened Earth
I am at one with the night