Atrox
Orgasm
1. Methods of survival
At times I'm so preoccupied running
I forget paying attention to where I'm going
At times I'm so busy reaching ecstacy
I forget paying attention to all other needs
We've all got our methods of survival
These are mine
Shoo away the annoying dandelion seeds
Chase a katzenjammer violin up a tree
Startle the birds so they take off
With the entire lake in their feathers
At times I'm so busy avoiding trouble
I forget paying attention to what I miss out on
These everchanging methods of survival
I may be too deep into the darkside
But I know we need to be a bit naive as well
One thing though - how to regain naiveté
When already cynical?
Have some bittersweets
They're good for you
Please help yourself to some bittersweets and light refreshments
Paper aeroplanes crash into bottles spilling wine
On flies hanging around washing their hands
Maudlin flies reel all over the table when suddenly
A turreen of soup tips over as the cloth woos
and stretches for the sheets on the clothes line
I need my escapism
I'll hold on to it till I learn new methods of survival
Somehow somehere sometime it will all be good
2. Flesh city
Here where the dead mourn for the living
We eat cannibals before they attack
We eat cannibals and ask afterwards
We can't control our headless horses
As the mongrels snap at their feet
Masturbating teens round every corner
Euphoric with daze and violent with lust
The virgin rapes in clumsy manners
Claims innocence and yells at his scapecock
We constantly move graveward but
We ache too much with greed to actually die
We practice compulsory revival
Of the suicidal
Producing child-size armour and straitjackets for kids
Lobotomizing angels as leper eats their wings
Building drive-thru brothels of glass
Aborting alien fetuses with drill
Serving fillets of genitals in restaurants
Life is but a scream within a scream within a scream
3. Heartquake
How I'd love to experience a heartquake
But oh so afraid it will end up with a heartache
These untimely little deaths
Would leave me out of breath
Life would flash before my eyes
You might become a liability
And I a reliability
Still I'd know how it feels
The absence
Is highly present
It smothers me
Absorbs me like a black hole
The absence of longing
Fills up time and space
Tons and tons of emptiness
Weigh upon me
You're a bumpkin groping and falling
But you're my pumpkin prescious adoring
Wish for you to say it
First
Better to have failed in true love
Than never knowing what you long for
Better to feel pain
Than to feel nothing
4. Burning bridges
If you can't cope with the answers don't bother to ask
If you can't cope with the sights don't bother to look
Once you've seen it you can't make it unseen
Once you've heard it you can't make it unheard
You just stay ignorant
The easier it is to fool you
All you'll know is
That you just don't know
- Relax my intention is absolutely not to tell you that...
Lalala I'm not listening
- Don't worry I can assure you my intention is not to tell you about...
Lalala I can't hear you
Don't bother your pretty little head
Knowing too much can't be good for you
If you can't cope with the knowledge don't bother to learn
If you can't cope with the stench don't dother to smell
Once you've heard it you can't make it unheard
Once you've seen it you can't make it unseen
5. This vigil
We've been blind pretending we can see
Been as dazed as dazed can be
We'd turn up to the light to see what the darkness looks like
Let's share this vigil
I would sing you a lullaby
If I wanted you to fall asleep
I would tell the truth
If I wanted you to fall from grace
I would make you murder me
If I wanted you to fall apart
6. Tentacles
My tentacles ache
This phantom pain is oh so confusing
I'm extraneous matter to the world
And so estranged
Look at me any way you want
My components are human and human and human and human
Strip me down to humanity
And cut me up into human and human and human and human
Into atoms of the fragile
I'm human I'm human I'm human
See I bleed red like you
What was that? Thought I heard you cuckoo
It may be I speak moron fluently
But you may be - if possible - even lamer than me
Yeah you could out-moron me anytime
We'll both stay with the mooncalves
Cause we're both aliens
Equally expendable
Equally valuable
So let's talk moron to moron
What's so great about being unique anyway?
We all are
7. Secondhand traumas
Got me some secondhand traumas
They transformed mind into flesh
And lead to the untimely death of the child inside
Fall asunder... now!
And bleed like me, see it's easy
Don't want to be the only one to feel this way
They say when a wound is deep
It hurts the most when it heals
Growing inwards in the quick
Don't want to build a womb around me
Don't want to drown in amniotic fluid
Don't want you to say what I want to hear
Can't you see or feel at all?
Must we turn to such drastic measures?
Is suicide attempt the only cry for help you can hear?
A hand on a shoulder that writhes away
The mnemonics of this play is way to strong
Don't want your help but I want to heal
Cross my heart I hope you die
As you go boohoohoo
No hate no more
No more bitterness no more
Nothing matters anymore
I'm not in pain no more
8. Pre-sense
If my senses won't come to me
I better come to my senses
But I can't
I'm too scared of being scared
Like saving cancer-mice from labs
Or half-eaten flies from cobwebs
No sense of reality
Or of concequence
Come come...
Oh don't bother
I'll just embrace myself
And while I'm at it
I'll just lift myself up by the hair
I'm not here
So you've all gathered here
To knock some sense into me
Go away, can't you see I'm busy
Dying of fear of dying¨
- Imagine what the world would be like if everyone were to think like you
Well, they don't so shut up
Well I've got a candied heart
But I'm afraid to use it
So what more can I do
Than entertain my demons
In this comic tragedy called life
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