Madder Mortem
Desiderata
1. My Name Is Silence
Spelling my name in analogies
Pulling your eyelids down
Over my silence, over your blind eyes
Building myself an anomaly
Building with breaking hands
Shutting the noise out
Driving the nails in
I have no name
My name is silence
I have no pain
Who would save you now?
Pulling myself through the windowpane
Kissing the broken glass
Drawing the walls close
Stitching my mouth shut
Resting my head on the demagogue
Leaning on burning sound
Tearing my words up
Putting my works down
I have no use for your bloodless compassion
Don't waste your indulgence on me
Nodding my head with the grinning ghost,
Loving the lucid flow
Too many mercies
Too many stale hopes
Turn my face to avoid your eyes
Swearing to let it go
Too many failures
Too many favours
2. Evasions
Speak so softly, I will hear you
Though your words are uncincere
All your talk amounts to nothing
And that nothing's not for me
Through a thousand smooth evasions
Your voice still rings in my ears
If you'd remember who you were
I could take hell out of your care
I could give you all I am
No more syllables to hide us
Fate dead within our hands
No more shadows and contortions
We have run out of lies
I could leave you undefended
Always hurting, always wrong
Leave you wanting and dependent
On a hope that'd let you down
But still your voice retains the phantom
Of all you wanted to be
I could give you all I am
Say my name
No more words to hide us
Fate dead within our hands
No more shadows and contortions
We have run out of lies
No more syllables to hide us
Say my name
3. Plague On This Land
Useless words and scattered earth
Wring that neck for what it's worth
Curse the flood and hate the sun
I will see the damage done
Plague holds this land, flooded with milky tears:
Life dripping from their eyes
Burning their hearts to sleep
Pure salvation on your tongue
Drink the venom you've become
Traitor by necessity
Be the dirt that clings to me
Plague holds this land, flooded with milky tears:
Life dripping from faithless eyes
Will the surface sealed
Plague on this land!
None I loved and none I spared
I fulfill what I prepare
The remnants of your line
Lost the blood that now is mine
Plague holds this land, flooded with milky tears:
Life dripping from faithless eyes
Will the surface sealed
I have listened, I have come
I have torn you, one by one
Be the dirt that clings to me
4. Dystopia
All will wither, go to sleep
The ones you love you may not keep
All you touch will fall apart
The dreams you kill will break your heart
There's no mercy, there's no rest
The void will scream within your chest
No one knows and no one will
So leave this place that makes you
Ill
5. M For Malice
Hold the curse close to your chest
Now let the game begin
Whisper a silence of disease
That will never end
Just give a changer all control
And the pallid king your hand
Lay your head gently down on hate
That will never bend
M for malice
M for modesty
M for me
Where no heaven can be found
Only the purpose will remain
Let it drown all pain
Let it drown all fear
All things broken, all things sworn
All this the malice will replace
Let it drown all fear
Let it drown all pain
Let no sorrow hold you down
Let the weight of good recede
It will drown all pain
It will drown all fear
M for malice
M for modesty
We repay
6. The Flood To Come
Nothing can turn me now
Come the terror, come the turmoil
Close over breath and bones
On the tide will flow
Rivers of vibrant life
Come the fever to the dead soil
Stream with my dormant dreams
On the tide will flow
Cold is the waiting stone
Come the change, I'm sick with hunger
Burn me and make me whole
On the tide will flow
Slow and sure
Come the fall, the fall I long for
Blind me and bring me home
On the tide will flow
Seed my world with auguries
With agony and joy
With fear to hold my spirit down
And glory yet to come
So will be the day:
On the tide will flow
Out from our eyes
Out from our feeding hands
No pain and no penitence
No word to hold the flood to come
Burn me and make me whole
Blind me and bring me home
On the tide will flow
7. Changeling
Storyteller, bring your stories to my pyre
You, the tame man, be what I have learned to loathe
Tell me the secrets buried underneath
A thousand years of dirt
Tell me the fever chills your blood
You were the last
I'll be the first
Fall as you are and for good
I am here, there's nothing left to change
Life bleeds too soon, counting time down on us
Hope withers at my touch
Leaving it's ghosts to teach all colours grey
Change
Storyteller; see the futile smiles and answers
I will teach you not to taint my sweet control
I have a deeper kind of riddle
And a puzzle you won't solve
Laugh on your knees
Laugh for the changeling and the joke that took us all
Change
8. Cold Stone
What are the words of the queen on her throne?
Spite and splendour, cold under stone
This is her promise
What is the name of the gift she brings?
Sleepless slumber under her wings
This is her promise
Cold, cold stone
Cold stone that buys and baits you
Cold stone that hides and hates you
Older than pride and pyre
Older than flood and fire
Here the swiftest beat will stop
Here the strongest man will fall
In her tower, in her halls
In her silent maze of cold stone
Cold stone to groom and grind you
Cold stone to mae and mind you
Cold stone to bleed and blind you
Cold stone to break and bind you
And her arms won't let you go
And her weight will pull you down
And her breath is in your lungs
And her laugh is that of cold stone
What are the words that will always remain?
Hunger, sorrow, winter and rain
These are her promises
9. Hypnos
Sleep, take me now and never let me wake
Still in your hands, in your kingdom I'll be yours to break
Sleep, I am tired
I have blundered on to a path where I don't belong
Still in your hand, I'll be safe from where I could go wrong
Promise me a silver dream
Let your silence flow over me
Give me serenity and take away my will
Let your silence flow over me
Ghosts hold no pain
I surrendered years ago
Life has no claim on me
Let me slip quietly beneath
The pulsing noise of everyday
Life has no claim on me
Sleep if I beg of you, will you bleed all memory from my veins?
Cold in your arms, I'll have given all my hurt away
I am not afraid
I have waited on your doorstep too long
Take back my name
Close my eyes and turn my face away
10. Sedition
Fate, I see your stare
Underneath your pale eyes
All is here, holding it's breath to have life
Smooth, sleek smiles howl at my door
To hold me down
Or move me on?
The pace makes it unclear
They smell of lust
Of sweetly silky rotting dust
Once they'll measure me coldly
Twice they'd beg me to try
Hope will always betray me
It's hand of stone has left the bitter mark on me
Hopes, atrocities and daydreams
Lay it all on me
The cause that I should die for
Lay it all on me
Fate, I see you stare
All is here
Fate, I could not care less
All is here
11. Desiderata
I open my eyes today
To leave the world of dreams behind
We all know the nothing
A hole in our hearts we try to forget
Or drown in jest and jokes
So I open my eyes today
To let myself be torn apart
In the rigid chill of my vow
All my dreams will die
My blood is seeded with hateful ghosts
Their cleaving hands upon my faults
Pleading my guilt as they pull me down
Into the sea of broken hope
How could I have known?
All my dreams were lies
I know
All my dreams were lies
All my dreams have died
Die.
12. Hangman
I know that death hides in my eyes
And screams from my song
I've left the bright lights
Left for the river without bridges
Slow and silent:
In it's waters I can dream of peace
I know of no hope
Down and into the flood will be my way
And to my hangman I will bow
My scaffold will follow me down
Sing as the soul falls
Over the water your voice lingers
Just be by my side
When the river sweeps my feet away
Though I gave you no hope
And all you love I repaid with pain
I will go down
Stay with me
My light is all gone
Stay with me
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