\ My Shameful
The Return to Nothing



This Same Grey Light

days go by
nothing changes, nothing moves
this same grey light
fade in, fade out from here
dust settles on me

the light has gone from here
but the dust still remains

years go by
nothing changes, nothing moves
I have been here
for far too long
dust settles

ashes fall on me
this day has gone
like so many before
in a dusty haze

there is no life here

slow decay
all crumbles down
I have been here
for nothing else remains

fade in, fade out from here
dust settles on me
on me, on my hands
ashes fall down on me


Days Grow Darker

cold is the morning light these days
the days do grow darker each day
it feels like the sun itself is dying
will it still turn to good...
...in the end?

the world is sinking
into the night
the light is fading
the night has come
the world is sinking
into ever night
the light is dying
swallowed by dark

sink deeper still
into this darkest of all nights
oblivion is calling out for me
and I close these eyes to dream

...to dream of eternity

I'm not afraid!
I'm not afraid...

I'm not afraid of tomorrow
I'm not afraid, no more
I'm not afraid to sleep now
I'm not afraid, no more

I held my head high
all was finally understood
tomorrow will never come
I will sleep away this time


No Dawn

the end is here
the earth burns now
from within
stars are falling now
sea is boiling blood
the end is here

and all we've done fore nothing
hope died long time ago
I see your children burning
all turned to ash in this fiery storm

the world is burning now
the time of men will end
there is nothing to be done
just sit down and wait for darkness

at the end world turned to black
and the few, scared, burnt and broken
walk among the fields of ash
there will be no new dawn
the mankind has fallen down
the end is here!


The Return to Nothing

dig deeper
deeper than ever before
dig deeper
into the nightblack soil

a cool weight laid down upon me
an eternal sleep awaits now
feel the weight grind me down
to become part of the earth
a slow process is starting
all the voices I still do hear
let me be here now
let me sleep...let me sleep

dig deeper
bury myself deep in the earth
dig deeper
beneath where the earth still calls
...for me

no light in here
no sun hurts my eyes
no noise in here
all is silent, all is calm


It Can't Get Worse

seeing myself standing here, naked and broken
again
I feel shamed, but cannot stop myself
like a beaten dog I came back for more
do I need the pain this much to feel alive

words became useless,
no need to speak no more.
stale remarks of my own state
turned to haunt my waking.

so long have I fallen
fallen from disgrace
could I say that it
has been better than this
that it used to be better
than it ever will be
or have I always thread
through this same

I don't fear tomorrow
it can't be any worse than today
and all the days before
when I hit the bottom...
...again

how did I lose myself amidst all this pain
all the hate kept fueling me on
all the memories of pain and betray
and I will come for more again


Silent

empty words flow from me
the truth hides between the lies
lies no one wrote down
gone with the words are the lies

so silent have these words become
fighting to get out, to scream out
of me
so empty have these words become
drained of all meaning

nothing left to say
words are gone now
nothing left to say
truth will die with me

no one will hear this again
no one will know what I had to say
gone with my breath it all is, (gone
from here)
no more words to say (no lies, no
truths, nothing)

nothing left to say


Just One

listen to the song of a thousand hurting
to the lullabies of a million screaming
but the pain it keeps on burning on and
on
till the silence of the night leaves us
dreaming

but after all
it is just one man dying
where the pain shines like the sun
on the bed of thorns
all has become but pain
but still you whisper lies...

...of peace coming
lies!!!
...of peace coming
lies!!!

the sir has become
fire that I swallow down
no water to put it out
but all in all
can it get any worse than this
but still you whisper your lies...


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