Panopticon
Roads to the North
1. The Echoes of a Dissonant Evensong
All that has been asked is that I let go
of the ground that defines me and the roots that uphold.
obscure my identity under feet of falling snow,
abandon the tumultuous soil in which I struggle to grow.
Rotten roots,
though they may be,
they are mine, mine indeed.
lost... and faceless in the north
in a labyrinth of pine
11 months since our goodbyes.
Losing track of time.
Endlessly searching mountains and valleys,
craving identity.
A shining glimpse and now torn away
for a short eternity.
Hissing winds through the trees,
howling winters whip my home,
the warmth of whiskey taints my throat.
Another night in the woods alone...
Swallow the pain,
trudge on into the dark,
no time for fears caress.
Take a deep breath,
close my eyes,
and bash on regardless...
(A lament to distance)
2. Where Mountains Pierce the Sky
Days that meant everything often fade into the mist,
But the days we have shared are burnt into my memory.
In the morning I awake and I am overjoyed to see you.
Shining bright like the stars above and beneath us...
Adrift in the vastness,
you anchor me.
Alone in the forest,
you are always with me.
And I am elated now that we are three...
My love for you both is as eternal as the mountain.
I find it so hard to recall the hues of your eyes
because there are so many other things that fascinate me
you bombard my senses
with a sense of wonder.
Breath deep every day
And thank the ground we maintain.
I look to the mountains
and I wish our days will never be numbered,
but futility is holding our breath
and futility is running from death...
Into the dark we all wander,
seemingly aimless in this life,
searching for meaning and direction,
but it is those that walk with us that bear what we hunger for
the bitter sweet, fading legacy of companionship.
As long as we breathe this life will thrive.
Memories fade but they do not die,
falling to the earth through the ages of time.
Where mountains pierce the sky...
Adrift in the vastness,
you anchor me.
Alone in the forest,
you are always with me.
My love for you is as eternal as the mountain.
No matter where we are...
(For my dear wife, Bekah.)
3. The Long Road (Part 1: One Last Fire...)
4. The Long Road (Part 2: Capricious Miles)
The hills faded into the distance
and I knew that I was never coming home,
only to empty walls stained by the past.
A place where I did once abode.
The emptiness sinks deep within me,
as I drift away.
Through the rushing waters of the past.
Nothing will ever be the same.
Open roads before us,
vestiges of the past.
Fading memories don't die,
when will we return at last?
Final goodbyes of one last fire,
those embers burn in my heart.
I dream of you (all) every day
and how through the years you all played your
part...
(The final goodbye.
The final fire.)
...in making me the man I became
from the child I once was,
the shame and embarrassment of
the sheep I had been,
to the wolf you made of me.
I am so goddamn greatful
and I will never forget what you have done
and when I return by 65 south
the battle will have already been won.
(Give thanks and respect to those who make you strong)
5. The Long Road (Part 3: The Sigh of Summer)
Summer sighs its last breath
(but fall won't stay)
The pine sleeps in wait for snow fall
(Winter is on it's way)
We shared this cup around autumn fires
(and tensions run high)
The emptiness consumes me
and the barren oak will not lie.
It whispers the truth of our aloneness
in this land bereft.
The company we keep is emptiness
and I feel I have nothing left.
I feel I have nothing left...
Please help me to find hope my friend.
Hope in hills and light,
the crystal waters of Superior
and the gentle stars at night.
Share this cup with me,
drink one more before sleep.
As the wind blows through the red oak
can you hear the sigh of summer weep?
Can you hear the sigh of summer solftly weep?
(Never too old to learn to trust a friend...)
6. Norwegian Nights
Lie beneath a cold blanket and watch the mountains sleep.
The train rolls by every hour, as I wake and dream.
The woods and the hills–faces so dear to me.
Frozen lakes, flatland snow, where I’m called I’ll go.
Such still quiet, then the whistle echoes.
My fragile sleep torn from me, as many other things will be.
7. ...in Silence
The yawning hills fade in quivering twilight
I can hear the echo of an approaching train.
Haunting the valley.
Dancing across cold waters.
Distant home fires long burnt out,
As I drink between four wooden walls.
Filling my eyes with the mountain
through a single window.
The haunting echoes of my loved ones,
half a world away,
like fading whispers in the nordic wind.
In song:
Recant the days but do not recall,
the burnt autumn smells and the cold of the fall.
A piece of my heart in the north and one in the south
now listlessly wandering, bereft and without.
A wandering soul drifting through
this world aimless and alone,
in the best of company.
Husker du at vi var på fjellet?
Og månen var på kveldshimmelen,
Så hvit, i den svarte natten,
Og det var høst på Gaustatoppen,
Med venner og flammer,
Med solen bak åsene, (som) synker ned i avgrunnen
Nå drikker jeg i stillhet
(For brothers near and far. You are with me.)
8. Chase the Grain
The echo is harder to understand as it fades,
it deteriorates the moment it leaves your mouth.
Nights are long. Days are short (and people are cold).
when you arrive north from the south.
Familiar hearts and faces faded not so long ago.
It is so hard when the people you love
become people you don't know.
The eerie twilight of our lives.
I feel my heart beat in the night,
counting each pulse,
the anticipation of each strike,
pushing the blood of hope through my veins...
The hope that I will see the dawn
and have one more chance to step forward.
Fearlessly facing myself, everyday.
My worst enemy sleeps in my bed.
He wears my clothes and goes with me everywhere I go...
"Alone in my tower, I am surrounded by nothing and no-one
I'm lost and empty in a wilderness of cold steel
and concrete,
I wait for self extinction.
A burning in my chest and a barren thirst still remain
A flame still burns somehow,
it's hard to see but I feel the burn on my skin"
(Dave Condon)
The sunlight dances in the distance...
Through drifting grey, muted emerald greens,
framed by wind swept prairie.
Our memories fade into legend, right somehow made wrong...
The years pass by and we see that for this world we are not long,
In the end, keep my spirit in the mountains.
Let my body flow to the sea.
Pour my ashes in the river and chase the grain after me.
Chase the grain after me.
(We dance the dance of death to the symphony of life.
Let us dance as long as we can.)
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