The River
Drawing Down The Sun
1. A Close Study
The mourners bow their heads
But I am not a part
Of their flow in the evening rain
Despite how hard I try
I'm left just to be
Lonely and afraid
My sober thoughts are there
I have kept them away,
A silence through the glass
It's colder when you're here
Your vanity makes me bleed
Delusions never pass
Your silence helps me pull away
I push you further from my thoughts
You may be pleased with how I feel
But a friend is all I sought
The days just blend into a whole,
The pale skies just seem to grow
I have so much to give,
More than you'll ever know
My useless pulse is through
My hope is given away,
My trust has been misplaced
As I struggle through the haze
If you simply saw my face
I'd find a way to stay
We didn't speak at all
Of how we felt,
It doesn't matter now
And so you're gone
No one seems to want
Me to be around
Losing myself
In nowhere,
Away from your eyes
But what do you care
If I'm not here
Just tell me why
2. If Only
I try so hard to make things right
I need your strength to get me through
I don't think you realise
Just how much that you could do
I can't do right for being wrong
No matter what I do,
If you know better than myself
Put the knowledge please to use
It's not so easy on my own
My smiles, they wear so thin
The emptiness surrounding me
I'll gladly welcome in
I know this should be home
I know it's not for me,
I really can't break this alone
If only...
3. So Down
I don't want to be a burden
I don't want to be alone
I just seem to keep falling
Through no fault of my own
Soft words fall on deafened ears
Echoes in my fragile shell
So numb with no feelings
And so unable to tell
I can't see my way forward
I keep slipping away,
Simply trying is not enough
I won't give in this way
There's a light I can follow on
But my way is damned,
If I can't find the path ahead
Won't stay till I end
Let's sit here for a while
I'll try to crack a smile
I want you here, but I'm not sure
Take my hand, will you lead?
Dress my wounds, so I won't bleed
I think we've been through this before
When I'm so down, you're not around
I now know I don't need you here
My broken mind will someday find
A way to hold my dearest near
Who said this isn't murder?
That's just how it feels to me
4. Amber
In murder, would you kiss the death for me?
A pallid constant stream
So amber in our tastes, but dare we dream?
Drink deep the sight of me
So fill me, I feel your warm flesh on my skin
And blindly feel my way
Embracing an emptiness that pours from you
A weakness I still crave
Tongues that whisper on leaves that fell from you
Rotting in the autumn dew
Broken feelings of how you made me feel
With your body cover me
Heaven pours from your throat into mine
I taste the sweetness from your amber
5. Alone with My Thoughts
Alone with my thoughts
I hide inside myself
Content with my breathing
Just leave me to drown
An empty room,
They line at my door
Such ghosts at my window
Please tell me what for
My transient stupor
And no one to care
Away from it all
Broken away,
Your wanton smell,
So eager to dream
Jaded but strong
What do you see?
To have you close
Would be almost
Too much to bear,
When your words are sighs
Let me catch your eyes
And have me there
Overjoyed too long,
Now that I am gone
I'm lost again
I'm sure I'll cope
Talk to you I hope,
I'm not sure when
I sit here away from you
Alone with my thoughts
I sit here away from you
Alone with my thoughts
I sit here away from you
I sit here away from you
Alone with my thoughts
6. A Relation to Absence
It's not that I don't care
I simply don't know
It's not that I'm not there
I feel safe on my own
Nowhere, nowhere...
It's not that I don't see,
I just choose to be blind
For me that's always been
No one by my side
It's not that I don't feel
But why get involved?
There's too much that is real
Will you ever be told?
Will you ever be told?
7. Inside the Flood Diary
I find it hard to speak my mind
I guess I need encouraging
To escape and maybe find
A cure for my ruins
I'm young enough to change my ways
My future's still not set
I can harbor any blame
And learn from my regrets
I have problems just like you
I won't drink them all away
I see no need to talk them through
I have demons just the same
To keep them in is my remedy
In time I hope they'll fade
It's not the way I know to feel
But allow me such a grace
I try to find the way to say something
It's always been in vain, when I say something
Could you really help me to say something
Bring me close to you and say something
I've told you that I'm fine
Surely that's enough
Why are you concerned?
My diary knows it all
It's healed that I confide
A tomb for all I've learned
8. Broken Window
Alone I awoke to the sound of the rain
Can't you leave me?
The constant tapping at my window pane
So eager to see
I watch the sky behind broken glass
The colours so rusted and hued
Am I transparent, alone in my haze?
My thoughts are of you
I turned away from your gaze
And disappeared in the crowd,
Your eyes sought, but couldn't find
I don't want to be found
Is it so hard to believe in myself?
I'm just a blur,
My face is blank to the outside world
To avoid being hurt
I only speak when I'm spoken about
So empty I feel,
If I'm to drown I will drown all alone
It's not a big deal
I turned away from your gaze
And disappeared in the crowd,
Your eyes sought, but couldn't find
I don't want to be found
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